We had a very interesting and special experience yesterday (November 5th, 2011). This post isn't necessarily for everyone as it is mostly to just have record of the event. I talk about my believes as a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. If you want to know more about my church click here.
Brian and I are cross country coaches. Yesterday was the State meet in Columbia, SC. We took the boys with us because we didn't have a babysitter for them overnight (this is definitely the last year we're doing that!). Malachi wore his processor the whole time, even with a beanie with ear flaps. If he wears a size bigger in hats (aka, Brandon's size) then the processor doesn't get pulled off.
After the awards ceremony we high-tailed it for our vehicles. There is always a huge line trying to get out because hundreds of cars and lots of buses all try to pull out of a field parking lot to a single lane road with a stop sign exit. Brian drives the bus with the team on it and I was in a rental van with the boys. When I got to the van I was just trying to get the boys and our stuff in as fast as possible. As I took Malachi's beanie off his processor fell off. I remember thinking to myself, "as soon as I get him buckled in I'm going to grab it."
As I pulled into a restaurant parking lot 10 minutes later (feeding the team lunch before we headed back home) I remembered about the processor. I couldn't remember putting it back on Malachi. I jumped out and started digging around the van hoping to find it. It wasn't there. I called Brian and started yelling that I had left the processor in the field! I felt like hyperventilating. I literally felt crazy, insane, and stupid. WHAT DID I JUST DO?
These pictures are from google maps. This first one is looking to the left of the field we parked in:
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This is looking to the right of the field:
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This last one is the aerial view. Zoom in and compare the field to the cars on Clemson Rd. You can really get a feel for how big this field is.
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It seemed nearly impossible. How in the heck were we supposed to find Malachi's processor in that huge field? Even if we were to find it, it should be broken from being (a) run over by me, (b) Mr. Brown one of our chaperons who was parked and drove right behind me, and (c) because everyone was cutting through the field run over by someone else!
I was just so mad at myself. I was calling myself stupid, moron, idiotic, lazy, pathetic. We just can't afford the $8,000 to replace the processor. Brian drove with me back to the field. Interestingly enough he was rather calm and just told me we needed to start praying. I prayed the whole way to the field.
It's a good thing the Lord has blessed me with good navigational skills because I was able to get us pretty close to wear I had parked from the way the grass was matted down on the field to tell where the aisles were, the surrounding fences and buildings, and a single truck still parked in the same line I had been. After searching for about 5 minutes I was loosing hope. I thought there was no way we could find it. I decided to move down a little farther to a spot I really thought was too far away from where I thought we'd parked. I prayed a small prayer again. Then I thought, "You are stupid. There is no way Heavenly Father is going to help you. This was YOUR stupid mistake, not an accident. Why would He help you? YOU ARE NOT GOOD ENOUGH."
Then I looked down. AND THERE IT WAS. I gasped and said, "Oh. My. Gosh." I picked it up. It was still on and completely intact. Not a scratch on it. I could not believe it. Tears started running down my face.
I instantly felt that the Lord was trying to tell me something. That my faith is good enough. That he does love me and care for me. I struggle with feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt regularly. It's just one of my personal demons. I learned that day that my Heavenly Father still loves me anyways.
Brian asked to give me a hug but all I wanted to do was get into the van and cry. (I didn't however, because that would have really freaked out the boys). We checked the processor with the remote assistant to make sure everything was good and put it right back on Malachi.
We experienced a miracle.